Why the hair?

I can’t remember the last time I got a haircut. It’s been a while.

I don’t know if the pictures do the length of my hair justice. If not, just take my word for it.

The reason I haven’t cut my hair is because I have a fear of losing it. It’s genetics. My brothers a year older than me, and well…yah, he’s not too happy about it. It’s already taking it’s toll on him.

Although, my brother resembles more of my dad’s side while I look more like my mom’s side. The men on my mom’s side had their hair longer. I’ll probably have my hair longer than my brother, but I’m not too far off from the same destiny as him.

I never know what style to take on for my hair so I usually wear a hat.

The irony here is that the hat will speed up the hair loss process.

It’s all right. The monster will eat the Burglar.

The passenger window to my car won’t go back up. If you’re asking, “well, did you try again?” The answer is yes…several times. It does this ever so often.

There’s been a few burglaries in my area. It’s really annoying. The other day, my sister saw a conspicuous character across my street. The stranger then went in to his car and drove away.

I’m not worried about my car though. It’s such a mess in there. There may be something living inside of it. I think it’s a monster. Sometimes I’ll hear chants in my car, but I know it’s not the monster doing that. The sounds must be coming from a Myan Tribe that is also preoccupying my vehicle. I also hear wild animals in my car. I’m not worried. The animals are what the tribe uses to make sacrifices for the monster.

So if some yahoo wants to jump in to my car from my non-powered window door, I say bring it on. He just better know how to speak Myan and carry along a sheep for the you know what.

Yah, you got to be pretty skilled these days to plan a burglary. Knowing a foreign language and breeding sheep is pretty intense, but somebodies got to do it.

Oh wait! That’s right. They don’t have to do it! They could get real jobs! My mistake.

Child Disputes 7

The other day, I told one of the kids to go sit down and he punched me.

What’s funny is, I didn’t see it coming. What was funnier however, was that neither did he.
He gave me the look of “Holy Crap, I just punched a councilor!”

I can’t be sure what was going through his mind next, but I’m sure it went something
along the lines of, “I better get rid of the evidence before the others find out I hit a councilor.”

I say this because he had his hands wrapped around my neck, squeezing with all his might.

It was a good thing he’s a lightweight. I thought about one of the other kids who, I’m convinced,
is drinking milk intoxicated with steroids.

This kid is huge!

Had it been him, I would not be alive today.

I’m all out of crack. But Hey! Take this Energy Drink!

I’ve been working at a daycare for a while now and the kids where me out sometimes.

The daycare is actually two daycares combined for the summer, so we’ve been getting to know
the other workers from the other daycare pretty well. I must say, I’m going to miss them dearly.
I would love for them to just stay with us.

Anyways, one of the other workers is addicted to energy drinks and caffeine.
I wouldn’t be surprised if his heart continued to beat for a good four to six
months after he died, just to work out all the caffeine in his body.

Instead of giving you his name, I will refer to him as “The Dealer.”
I don’t remember the first time “The Dealer” passed me a 7hr
energy drink, needless to say, I remember the results.

Honestly, I felt like I was on crack.

Think I’m over-exaggerating?

The other day, I took a gulp out of the 7hr energy drink
and we took the kids outside for lunch. Well, one of the kids didn’t
want to eat her sandwich because it tasted bad, so I took
her sandwich and then looked at her and said, “well, the
reason your sandwich tastes bad is because there’s a
monster in your sandwich.”

…

And then I had an intense moment with the ham sandwich,
and when I mean, a “moment,” I really mean like a good 45
seconds.

I exchanged some words with the monster.

If a person arguing with a monster in a ham sandwich
doesn’t sound like a crack story, then I’m just not
sure what would.

Life in the future

I can’t wait for life in the future. Not the part where robots have defeated mankind and the human population is extinct, and not so much for the war that (of course) takes place prior to the whole “fall of mankind.”

The time that’ll be good will take place before those events, but, more importantly, take place after the inconvenience of not having artificial intelligent robots to run the little things in life that could be slightly done better instead of mindless machines.

Your probably wondering how the robots made life good for that period.

No one’s really sure.

For me, I’m sure street lights got replaced by robots. That way, no one is put in to the dilemma of the light being red even though no ones there to conflict with your choice of road.¹

If you’re freaked out by this, you shouldn’t be. There’s nothing you can do.

If you’re still freaked out by this, just listen to this song. It’s very relaxing and catchy.

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1. You know what I’m talking about. For too long, I’ve been under the oppression of street lights that shouldn’t be red!

Can I get the underwear in a smaller size?

I was cleaning my room the other day and I found a pair of underwear in my shopping bag from H & M.

As I was walking with a friend of mine, we were stopped by two people. One handed my friend boxers while the other handed me underwear.

The advertisement on the underwear is for a run/walk against cancer.

It’s focus is fighting cancer in the pants.

Check them out at uncoverthecure.org.
I’m a fan of there theme song on the website.

The underwear they handed me was pretty big.

But I guess there are other uses for underwear these days than just wearing them under your pants.

I think I’ve made my point.

Outrageous thought of the day

I opened the fridge and saw that there were leftovers. As I took the leftovers out, I thought to myself,

“Better not eat all the leftover or else I won’t get to enjoy it later.”

Why, you ask, “is that outrageous?”

Because I’m standing in front of a fridge that is not my own, taking up space in a house that I am not listed under by the government.

I just don’t find it reasonable to have the thought of not wanting to indulge in the whole leftover for fear of not being able to enjoy it later in that kind of setting.

Outrageous?

I think so.

Damn You Top Ramen!

I’ve been living off top ramen for over two weeks now.

I seriously feel like death is near.

I wish I’d have picked up a lesser opponent towards my health. Like cigarettes. I would probably live longer.

I’m starting to feel like the dude who only ate off the McDonalds menu for a month, accept only, I’d rather be that guy.

Oh well. So it goes.

Group Hug at the Verizon Store!

At some point today, I realized my phone wasn’t working properly. I tried calling my voice-mail, and the call would connect, but I couldn’t hear anything.

I decided to make a visit to a Verizon shop since I was long over due for an upgrade on my phone.

It was ridiculously busy.

The room for the shop was awkward in and of itself. All the walls held phones and phone accessories, so there was no where to lean.

The one sofa-like square bench was taken. After aimlessly walking around the room, I decided to lean on the side of the only entrance/exit.

This is when everything started to go downhill for me.

My anxiety started to go up. I was getting very nervous.

As strange as this may sound, the problem is not whether I’m claustrophobic or not, the problem is the paranoia of being claustrophobic.¹

The longer this waiting process took, the more I started to freak out. I realized that when I started to grip my left arm with my right hand, I probably looked like a crack attic going through withdraws.

A part of me…that is, the pessimistic part anyway…wanted to scream.

But the optimistic part of me thought, “It could be worse, after all, someone could’ve yelled out ‘GROUP HUG’ and the room could’ve suddenly been closed in by an enormous amount of people focused in the center of the room while being in the middle….

…luckily, it didn’t come to that.

A lady finally called my number and asked for my phone number. After I gave her the number, I told her that I deserve a prize for being victorious against my claustrophobic-like battle…

…To which her response was, “The accounts under a different name, you don’t have authorization so I can’t help you.”

I both laughed and died a little inside. I thanked her for her time and then went on my way.

Next door was a Starbucks. I sat down and tried to unwind a little. I haven’t eaten anything all day and there was an In-and-Out in the same parking lot.

I took three steps toward the place and saw the line.

I got in my car and ate in an empty Subway, then went to a coffee shop that was more so vacant than anything else.

Large groups of people use to not scare me, somewhere along the line, that drastically changed.

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1. It’s kind of like the part from the movie “Toy Story” when Woody pushes Buzz Lightyear in the chest and Buzz’s space helmet retreats in to his suit. Then Buzz reacts as if there’s no oxygen for a good five seconds, but then realizes after, that he can breathe….to which Buzzz’s response is, “The air…it’s not toxic…How dare you open a space rangers helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyes could’ve been sucked out of it’s sockets!”

Hey Hottie! Pass that Incredible Hulk my way.

So my friend invited me to this party a couple nights ago. I kept asking him questions about it, but he was very shady about it. I was excited about the party because I thought there would be really good food and I’ve been living off that top romen noodles crap and cans of chili for a week.

We’re on our way to the party and that’s when he tells me about the party. Turns out, it’s a singles party…and it’s at a comic book shop…and there was high doubts about there not being food there.

At that, I laughed. Mostly because My friend has done something like this to me before.¹

We eventually got there and I actually had a good time. My friends band played and I really liked his stuff.

I also ran in to a friend there who might get hired at the comic shop. I also ended up buying a graphic novel.

The only thing I didn’t embrace about the night was the whole singles theme. One could purchase raffle tickets and if won, he/she would win a free dinner and a blind date with the other person whose raffle got picked.

It was a fun night. I’m glad I went.

I will say this and I feel kind of bad.

There was this one guy that fit the stereo-typical comic book fanatic category….you know…with the obnoxious comic book jokes and the lack of people skills.

In the end, I got a graphic novel, a demo of my friends band, a DC coaster, and a sticker I wore with the name of Bruce Banner.

Later on that night, I got pulled over by a cop. He was in my face about how I was going 65 to 70mph in a 45mph zone while cutting off another car.

To which my response should’ve been, “your making me angry…you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

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1. And by that, I mean leave specific details out so as not to make me want to cancel on the event itself.