The Sun must be stopped

It’s been very hot these past few days. I’ve had the pleasure of being in the heat during work at times.

The other day, I went to the store to pick up some chips and dip. I was waiting in line and I turned my attention to this magazine that was near me. The main headline was children obesity. It had a pretty big kid that happened to be on a skateboard, with a double scooped, ice cream cone. I gazed at the skateboard deck that seemed to be bent inward to where the child was standing. And when I mean the skateboard was bent, I mean the deck was touching the floor in the middle, on the magazine. 

I would’ve thought this to be more entertaining had the heat not boiled my brain in my pan-liked skull, but all I could think about was the ice cream the boy had in his hands.

If this heat continues, (which it will) we may have to go to drastic measures. You may be thinking, “that’s why we need to take care of our o-zone layer.”

But I choose not too. I’m an American.

When I mean drastic changes must be made, I mean something like blocking the sun from the world, or at least where I live.¹
I’d say blow up the sun, but I’ve been told by my sources that we depend on the sun. Somethings to do with the earth orbiting around the sun or some non-sense like that. 

I’d say blow up the sun anyway, but what can you do?

And if you think I’m being ridiculous about this matter, just watch this;

Just know that our children’s lives are at stake. Make the wise decision.  

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1. Mr. Burns did it in the Simpsons. How hard could it be?