Oh, that irony’s a riot!

I started reading “The Kite Runner ” again.

I love this book. If you’ve not read it, I suggest you do so.

But that’s not why your reading this blog.

The reason why your reading this blog is because of what took place while I was reading this novel.

These four bros came out of a subway while I was outside of the Starbucks next door.

They were pretty loud. One of them complained about the subway employee.

“How the f*ck do yo come in to this country not knowing english!? If your going to be in this country, you should know how to f*ckin’ talk english!”

I thought this was ironic because the kid was probably a sophomore in high school and he probably had an eighth grade reading level.

Despite all the education opportunity he has had and will receive, his reading level will not change much if any.

If you think about it, I’m just stereo-typing him as a bro and thus, not being nor caring about his education.

His crude views towards foreigners is no different than my opinion that he’s a hick.

I guess the only difference there would be is that I can define irony.

The Universal Truth of Tacos

Today, a child¹ showed me a picture he drew of a man in a sombrero and a poncho.

On the poncho, it said “I love tacos.”

I thought to myself how that was stereo-typical to say that all Mexicans like tacos.

I never talked to him about it though.

Partly because I was in the middle of taking care of something else, but mostly because as time went by, I realized the kid was right.

Lets be honest for a second.

Who has ever been around some friends and said, “I’m in the mood for tacos,” and the Mexican friend say, “Tacos!?”Gross!”

No one! That’s who.

In fact, I don’t think I know anyone that’s not a Mexican who is against tacos.

So there it is.

Mexicans loving tacos is a Universal Truth.

Disclaimer
I guess the only one who wouldn’t like a taco is the white child with the father who has the tattoo of a swastika on his left pectoral.

Disclaimer
Please don’t sue me.

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1. I should also let it be known that this child once told another child that she would be really good in a sex video…..you may now continue with the blog.

S’mores and Cigars

A few days ago, a few friends and I gathered around a fire in the backyard making s’mores and smoking cigars.

I dare say the mix worked pretty good with one another.

I highly recommend those that like s’mores and cigars to give this a go.

If you don’t like neither, then we can’t be friends.

Scratch that. Don’t say hi.

I’m at a coffee shop¹ right now and I had a conversation with one of the workers that went something like this…

Oh my gosh, I just saw my cousin right now. I haven’t talk to him since my grandma died and that was like a year ago.

(my response) Oh. Well then, you should go say hi.

My mom still talks to him and sometimes he calls.

Go say hi.

I can’t. It’s just awkward.

Why is it awkward.

Because he divorced his wife and now I think he’s seeing an older woman with a child.

Well, you should still stay hi.

Maybe I’ll say hi when he comes back this way.

You should go say hi.

He hasn’t told me he’s seeing her though and recently he told my mom that he was going on a cruise with someone and put my mom down for list of contacts in case anything happens. But he didn’t tell my mom who he was going with.

So you’re not suppose to know about this older woman.

No. And she’s with him right now.

(Silence) Scratch that, don’t say hi.

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1. Big surprise

Arabs…Need I Say More

Schools almost coming to a close for me.

My mom wants me to take a summer class.

Being that my brother and sister and cousin are going to be taking an arabic class, I’ll probably take that one.

I found out though that my aunt and grandma are going to be taking the class as well.

If you’ve not sensed a problem with this already, let me explain.

If I take this class, that means there will be 6 of us total.

By “us” I ofcourse mean arabs.

The idea of it sounds funny to me.

We may very will be the group of people that intimidate the rest of the class..and possibly the teacher.

The reason my aunt is joining is because she never new arabic and would like to learn. My grandma, however, is going to make sure the teacher is teaching the language correctly so she doesn’t teach my aunt incorrectly.

I could already see my grandma yelling out how “that’s not right” and telling us we all need to leave the class because the teacher is a liar…DURING THE CLASS!

One things for sure, this will be both entertaining and awkward for me.

Souvenirs are no longer legit…

Almost a year ago, I had some cousins of mine go up to Egypt for a little while.

I believe they visited other areas in the Middle East as well.

Anyway, when they came home, they gave us some souvenirs.

We got a pretty cool tea-cup set¹.

A few months ago, I read the bottom of one of the cups and it said “Made in China.”

I had a pretty good laugh about that.

Souvenirs are no longer legit…unless your getting a souvenir to think about China. In which case, feel free to go any where around the world to get a souvenir from China.

Souvenirs are no longer legit, unless they come from China.

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1. I really like tea.

Weird Acquaintance

So, I don’t really know who a man should call when he’s drunk.

I would imagine that a drunk guy would call up his x-girlfriend and leave a long drawn out voice-mail of how he still loves her and that he’s sorry for Cindy¹ and wants to start all over.

That’s all good.

My whole problem right now is I got this guy I know that calls me when he’s drunk wanting to see me. And I know I’m totally re-wording what he said to me, nevertheless, he still calls me only when he sounds drunk wanting to hang out.²

That’s kind of weird to me.

I’m also not ready to commit to a relationship right now in my life…

I’m also not gay.

Those are three very good reasons of why I shouldn’t call back.

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1. I thought Cindy would be a practical name.
2. And yes, he is leaving me long and drawn out voice-mails as well.

Child Disputes 5

I was talking with one of the 4th graders today.

Despite the fact she can’t stand me at times, she’s actually one of my favorites.

Her mannerisms don’t belong to a girl her age.

I was teasing her by the basketball courts today and I started it off saying;

In my country, we don’t play basketball.

In my country, Your a geek!

What!? Well in my country, we don’t make jokes that way.

Well, in my country….we don’t care about your country!

(I think the reason why I laughed the way I did was because she’s white and I’m arab. And that’s what made this conversation superb.)

Child Disputes 4

So I’ve got a pretty good handle on the kids.

I try and be as fair as possible.

But there’s one kid that I remain ineffective with.

It’s not because she throws tantrums or anything like that.

I can handle that.

It’s because every time I go to punish her, she just makes me laugh.

I can not keep a straight face for the life of me.

I had a short but interesting dialogue with her over a week ago.

It went as follows;

Hey Browny.

Browny!? Why are you calling me Browny?

Oh. No reason brown-head.

Brown-head!? (I think to myself that she’s only in 4th grade. These remarks must be innocent.)

Why are you calling me Brown-head?

Because you have a head and it’s Brown.

(Welp! I was wrong!) Hey, you can not go around calling people by the color of their skin. That is races. If you had done this to another kid, you would’ve gotten in so much trouble.

But I didn’t do that to another kid. I did it to you Brown-Boy.

(Laugh hysterically as she runs off.)

Q of the day

Q: Do you ever walk in to a public location (library, coffee shop, park) finding yourself aware that there is someone there you are very well acquainted with, but at the same time, don’t like at all? The first instinct you typically have is to avoid making eye contact with this person and play it off if as if you were totally clueless that you saw this acquaintance of yours.

Now consider this. Moments before you were even in the building and aware of this “friend” of yours, this person already spotted you. This individual had the same response that you had and vise versa.

My question is this;

How many times do you think THAT’S happened to YOU?

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