Wasted Weekend

This whole weekend was spent on babysitting two kids. I was able to sneak a couple breaks here and there but essentially, my weekend was spent with spending time with a six and nine year old.

And when I mean, “my time was spent,” I mean lots of video games and lost of repetitive answers to the same questions asked every ten seconds.
Honestly, I needed the money badly, but nonetheless, I feel like my weekend was totally destroyed.

I’m the type of person that can stand kids. I can do that. I work at a daycare for crying out loud.

But a straight weekend with them¹ was just overkill.

The same thing always happens when I babysit for an extended amount of days too.

I get very irritable, not just towards the kids either, but too every thing that breathes within a parking lot’s distance of me.

I’m specific in the distance for good reason. It seems to be the case that the foolishness of man² is really made visible within the venue of parking lots.

One can’t back up from a parking lot these days without the fear of some swine driving by who is in the mood to hear his car go “zoom, zoom³ “

To be fair, it’s not always the jerk in the car to blame for irritable situations.

Pedestrians these days don’t really understand the idea of a very heavy object on wheels people use everyday to get from A to B can potentially be used as the same object to kill you.

I know, right. This information is somehow kept from the American people. I don’t know how it’s being done.

I took the kids to Target today so that they may buy a toy and as I was driving by the building in search for an open parking spot, this woman lunges out from the side walk with her cart and in to the parking lot without even making eye contact with me.

Not even glance towards me even.

The only thing she did do in response to this situation was awkwardly smile⁵. I say awkwardly because she must have only seen me from the corner of her eye, and it was the type of smile that said, “Wow! You almost hit me with your car! Man! You would’ve felt like a real idiot huh!?”

This case usually applies to people of two categories.

The first category is the people before my time, and the second category is after it. These two categories of people obviously didn’t catch on to the “stop-look-listen⁴policy.”

So if you were born in the late 80s era, consider yourself slightly more intelligent than everyone that wasn’t.

I understand that this is a bold comment to say, but somebody had to be the bearer of bad news.
**Disclaimer**
Honestly, I don’t actually think people born in the late 80s era are slightly more intelligent than everyone else. I just wanted to pretend to be funny. So if you got a good laugh out of that, I’m glad. But if you didn’t, just know I’m only kidding.

————————————-
1. The babysitting actually started Thursday at 5:45pm. Just thought you should know.
2. I also include the females of the human race as well. I’m totally not trying to be sexes here. Women can equally share the blame as well.
3. I blame the commercial…you know, the one with the child that whispers, “zoom, zoom.”
4. I’m not sure if look and listen are in that order, but I don’t think the idea of it is compromised, just as long as you do the stopping first….but you may want to get a second opinion on this one.
5. And it was the type of smile one does to insult someone. I know this because I’m pretty sure I get it enough to affirm the call.

Child Disputes 3

I sent two kids to go use the bathroom.

One of them has been known to pee on the bathroom floor. 

I told him not to mess around in there.

A few minutes lather, the other one of the two ran to me screaming, “Coach S.! Coach S.! He peed all over the bathroom floor!”

I met up the other one halfway and our conversation went like this;

Why did you pee on the bathroom floor!?

It’s not my fault.

Then who’s fault is it?

It’s my private area. It’s crooked.

(fight back smile) Who told you it was crooked?

(Shrug of the shoulders)

Your private area is not crooked.

Yes it is. The hole goes that way. (emphasizes a direction)
 
(Can’t hold back smile, yet somehow retain ability to hold back laughter) (Not sure of what to say next)…Go play.

(Child runs off)

(Think of ways of how I could’ve handled that situation better…. then dismiss situation with laughter) 

Day 11 of breaking habit

Progress has continued.

However, certain situations have brought my stress level up and the fact that I’ve not had the comfort of biting my nails has made me very irritable¹. 

This process has also invoked me to take up substitutionary habits that will end up becoming just as bad, if not worse, than biting my nails.

Example: Instead of nibbling on my fingers, I’ve resorted to toying with my bottom lip. 

If not for the tar surrounding my finger tips right now², they would look much more inviting.

Honestly, I think that’s worse than biting nails. See, if someone has a habit of biting their nails, they have ways to hide that.

One could easily be the person that always has their hands in their pocket or even have their arms crossed for the most part. One could even be the person that’s always wearing gloves³.

But you can’t hide your face. Well, I guess you could wear a mask all the time, but that’s kind of freaky and people might mistake you for a rapist/terrorist/vampire. In any case, neither one of these would be a positive feature for your character.

I guess the trick to accomplish right now is to continue not biting my nails and to be sure to not bite my lower lip.

…maybe I’ll just wear a mask.   

1. Just ask Nate…he’ll tell you.
2. I was roofing with a buddy of mine.
3. Even on days where that would look stupid and possibly frowned upon by the circumstantial society you’re presently living under.
 

Child Disputes 2

I had a conversation at work today with a couple ten year olds while playing basketball. I’m obviously better than them since they’re only ten and so I started to joke around with them and brag a little. It went something like this;

I’m amazing in basketball.

No your not. I’m amazing.

Well why are you amazing at basketball if I’m better than you. 

I’m amazing because I have a girlfriend.

How old are you?

I’m ten years old.

I have girlfriend too.

How old are you?

I’m ten too.

Why would you guys have a girlfriend if you’re only ten years old. 

I’ve had a girlfriend since first grade.

The same one!?

No. Different ones.

Why in the world would you have a girlfriend right now?

Because she’s beautiful and rich and has a mansion.

(Shocked at response) Those things can’t make you happy.

Sure they can.

No they can’t.

Yes they can.

No they can’t.

Yes they can.

You can’t just by happiness.

No, I’m pretty sure you can. 

No you can’t.

Well, you obviously couldn’t by her because that would make it prostitution.

(Try not to laugh even though he’s right)

Do you have girlfriend coach?

No.

(Laughter erupts as they run to get in line for childcare)

 

Day 7

I have finger nails. 

Half an hour ago, I accomplished a task that I could never really do.

There are these special outlets located in the library at my school. 

I say special because they’re guarded by this medal top. 

The medal has a little indent to the side in order to lift the medal lid.

I’ve never been able to squeeze my finger within the indent and therefor, would always fail.

Usually, I would use the end of the medal from whatever plug I was trying to plug in.

Today I used my nails to open the medal fortress.

I understand it’s not anything revolutionary, nor anything that would benefit society in any way….

…but it made me happy to do so nonetheless. 

The Success And Failures In Art

So im watching a music video of Emily Jane White whom I’ve recently become a huge fan of and I’ve come to the conclusion that a camera can be used for two objectives.

A camera can be a way of getting a message expressed visually. Where one can not only make a point, but do it beautifully and in an entertaining way. That those with cameras have the power to change the way we think and look at life.

                                                                                                                                                                   Then there’s the other way. The way where those with cameras can make such atrocities that strip the meaning of life from it’s very core. This doesn’t happen because there is no such thing as ugliness in life. Rather, there was a goal of beauty, but that’s not what was produced. People like this are guilty of a crime that is almost unforgivable. Cameras should be taken away from those who can not handle the
responsibility of it’s calling.

                                                                                                   http://www.kovideo.net/music/video/Emily-Jane-White—Dagger/2643.html     

Think I’m leaning more towards the second one on this. 

Day 3 of breaking habit

I’m actually doing pretty good with this whole nail biting thing. I thought I would have to succumb to dabbing my fingers in hot sauce or nail-polish remover.  

On day 2, I went shopping at Macys and got a new pair of pants.

My friend Travis went with me. Why is this important?

…you’ll see.

I was purchasing the pants at the cash register when the worker asked me if I would like a Macys credit card. 

The following conversation is between me, Travis, Macys guy, and Travis’ inner thoughts.

      So would you like to purchase a Macys credit card?
      
      (Don’t be a jackass Sammy. Use your head.)

      So it won’t cost me anything?

      No. It’s free. And you’ll get good deals monthly.

      (Say no.)

      I don’t know. What do you think Travis?
  
      I don’t care. Whatever you want man.

      (Don’t be an idiot.)

      Alright. I’ll do it. 

      (I can’t believe he’s going to be an idiot.)

      Maybe you should think about it Sammy. It is a credit card and if your going to get a credit card, you       should probably do it through your bank.

      You’re probably right. No thanks on the credit card.

The Macy’s card then said good day to his bonus as I walked out. He probably wanted to kill Travis.

I share this only to show that I am a sheep when it comes to shopping. You can probably sell anything to me. A couple years ago, I went with Travis and Nate shopping and we were in in this store that was having a sale because Christmas just happened.

There was this worker there who was with me the whole time. He was very helpful. I bought some clothes and two pairs of shoes from him. He almost got me to buy a few pairs of socks but Travis and Nate intervened at that point.

After I said my thanks to the worker, his response was, “hey, no problem. I don’t even work here.”

And then he walked off.

I’ve told myself that I’m not allowed to go shopping by myself.

Otherwise, I would end up in debt within minutes. 

Day 1 of breaking habit

Today was somewhat stressful.

I was about an hour late to work.

I do have funny stories about work though. These aren’t the kids from my school since we have three different school of children meeting in one for spring break, but one of the kids made himself a bandanna during creative time and his mom came to pick him. She was so enraged at the idea of it. She yelled at the director for a while for promoting gangs.

I had a good laugh.

I also learned that this one married couple that came in to pick up their child were races and they were teaching their child to be the same. This was pick up when the kid came up to one of the counselors and asked if he/she¹ could move from sitting next to the child with darker skin.

Hooray for passing down hatred to our children!

I hung out at Starbucks after work.

There was a man I see there a lot. He’s kind of an ass. I’ll prove it too.

Today, he was reading outside and then came in to use the bathroom. He left his book and drink by the table closest to the bathroom. On his way out, I asked him what he was reading. He glared at me and looked away. As he opened the door to go back outside, he snarled back, ” a book.”

So I thought to myself, “Wow…What an ass.”

What I wanted to do was wait till he went back to the bathroom. Then pick up the book that he would leave at the table² and rip out the last few pages in the book.

I would’ve really like to bite my nails today. I’ve never noticed how much stress relief hinged on biting my nails. I knew I bit my nails when I was stressed, but I didn’t no it went that far.

…well, 29 more days left to break the habit…so they³ say.

1. Can’t remember if boy or girl.
2. Because we’re creatures of habit.
3. By they, I of course mean the studies done by professionals that say it takes 30 days to break a habit, but I can’t seem to find nor want to look for the actual source.

Prologue to Killing Habit’s

I’m going to quit doing something I’ve been trying to quit for the past two years.

I’ve done it since pre-school if not before.

It’s nail-biting.

I just can’t help myself.

When I was in elementary school, I was chilling on the rug during free time.

Everyone else was being active (or as active as one would expect an inside activity to be) and I was vigorously attacking my finger nails.

Then all of a sudden, my teacher abruptly yelled out, “You bite your nails!? That’s disgusting!” The noise dropped to silence. I felt every eye on me (accept for the kid who kinda had a lazy eye) as I slowly dropped my hand down from my mouth to my lap.

That pretty much summed up my popularity in elementary school.

I’m going to commit to this. I really am. In fact, I was going to start today, but then I did some biting of the nails today unconsciously. So that’s why I’ll start on Thursday (which is technically right now).

I heard it takes 30 or 40 days to quit a habit.

…We’ll see.

Philosophy and Humor…DUO???

I’ve been taken a philosophy class this semester and I’ve really been enjoying it.

I also enjoy the class very much because my professor is very good at what he does and at the same time, very hysterical.

One of the philosophers I’ve been studying is Leibniz.

He has this belief that space and time are illusions.

That we are all monads(an indivisible being, like an atom) and that the only way we actually have communications with one another(whether it be talking, hearing, watching, smelling) is by God actually doing that for us.

What I mean is, God actually steps in and our communications with another is only possible by God since monads can not have contact with one another.

Example.
So every time you open your eyes, you’re seeing what God allows you to see.

It’s as if God is constantly repainting the picture every time you blink.

And since God knows what your going to do before you do it, he’s got it all planned out.

So you basically can’t fake out God.

What I mean is, you can’t go about your marry way one direction and then try catch God off guard by looking behind yourself and what is suppose to be there, say your house, or car, not be there anymore.

In which case, God’s response would be, “Oh man!! You got me!! WOW! I didn’t think you would turn around! Well I guess I had a pretty good run. Can’t complain.”

That wouldn’t be the case. And that’s really the only thing I wanted to share on the matter.

The idea of trying to fake out God in hopes of him not seeing it coming.

Philosophy can be pretty comedic.